I can just picture the brainstorming session now...

Video Game CEO: "We've run out of ideas for video games. One of you jackasses better come up with something quick or you're all fired."

Idiot #1: "It's been about 20 years since the 80's have been around. Most people have forgotten about them, maybe we can get some ideas there"

Video Game CEO: "Alright, what was cool in the 80's?"

Idiot #2: "Well, there was Simon. Remember Simon, you had to match the patterns?"

Idiot #1: "Yeah!, and the Keytar. The Keytar was GREAT!"

Idiot #3: "We could combine the two into something new and come up with a super awesome idea!"

Video Game CEO: "Okay, we'll combine the two and ..."

I had health care growing up. I knew that if I fell out of a tree, landed upside-down jumping my bike, or broke my ankle skateboarding, my parents would bring me to the doctor and everything would be alright.

Once I got out on my own and had no insurance, I started listening to that little voice in my head that said "this is a bad idea", because I knew if I got hurt, I would have to pay for it. But, I have a good job now, and health care once again. Now I tell that voice "shut the fuck up, we've got health insurance" and the voice says "oh, well, then go for the double backflip, if you don't make it, you'll probably land in the pool."

That's why universal health care is a bad idea! 

I, for one, do not live with my mom anymore. I live with my girlfriend, and she doesn't care when I eat pizza, whether it's on a bagel or not. I can eat pizza whenever I like. I just don't like eating pizza in the morning. It ruins the anticipation of waiting to eat pizza for lunch.

This is the cheesiest slogan ever. Who actually watches this commercial and thinks, "Wow, I can eat pizza in the morning now that it's on a bagel." Since this commercial usually plays during the day, the only people that see it are stoner bums that don't have a job and eat pizza in the morning anyway.

Coffee comes from coffee b-e-a-n-s. It's not like is a taco stand run by a bunch of crackers. Then I could understand if people had a problem with the name.

What pisses me off the most is that you know this is going to start a trend. Expect Negro Modelo Beer and the Cracker Barrel Restaurant and Country store to make similar announcements in the coming months.

I'm Mexican, and I have to say the name "Beaner's" Coffee  doesn't offend me in the least. If any brand/company should change their name in respect to Hispanic people, it should be "Spic 'N' Span", because what else could "Spic" possibly mean in this situation.

Apparently, if one of the dogs decided they didn't want to fight, Michael Vick would spray them with water and electrocute them to get them angry and in a fighting mood. The losing dog in a fight would be killed in one of many cruel, disgusting ways. The dogs would be slammed against the concrete, basically beating them to death, they would be hanged, beaten, burned, and shot.

Michael Vick is a disturbed and disgusting individual. He should have the book thrown at him if he is indeed guilty of these crimes.

I got my first dog a few months ago, and couldn't imagine doing anything like this to him. I'm no animal right advocate or card carrying member of PETA, far from it actually. I love eating chicken, steak, hamburgers, pork, you name it. I've always been a meat and potatoes guy, but animal cruelty is disgusting. This wasn't in self defense, or to provide food for someone, it was purely for entertainment and profit and is disgusting.

I will be really surprised if Vick's sponsors don't drop him like hot potato after this, and there's no way any NFL team should allow him to play ever again. We need to send a message to people telling them that it doesn't matter who you are, how talented, or how much money you have, you will pay the price for committing a crime, especially something as inhumane as this one.

In the past week, I'm sure everyone has heard about Joe Rogan confronting Carlos Mencia on stage. I've never been a fan of Joe Rogan. I think he's a cocky piece of shit. I watch UFC and I can't say Rogan does a bad job, but I just don't like the guy.

He's not the first one I have heard about calling Mencia a hack and a joke thief. I heard about a huge beef between George Lopez and Mencia. Apparently Mencia has stolen Lopez's entire act. Is it really all that shocking that a Mexican would steal something from someone else? Do you like how I use Mencia's own humor against him there? Oh, wait Mencia isn't even Mexican. What a piece of shit, I am Mexican and Mencia is giving all of us a bad name.

I used to like you Carlos. I thought you were funny. I thought you were original. What happened? How could you lie to me like that? consider this our official break up scumbag!

Here's a little update to this whole situation. I don't think anyone really talks about this anymore, but here's a look at the other side of the story.

The arguement has always been, "Why would someone choose to be gay; to knowingly make a choice that will cause them grief and ridicule?" I've always thought, why would someone choose to be "goth" or "punk", or part of any sub culture that would bring about the same ridicule? People choose to be part of these subcultures because they don't feel like they belong in the mainstream. They may be ridiculed by the mainstream, but they will belong to that subculture. People always want to feel a sense of belonging.

Recently I heard a great counterpoint to the "homosexuality is a choice theory" on the radio. Here's a paraphrasing of how the conversation went: Caller: I believe homosexuality is a choice. Host: Why would someone choose to be ridiculed, etc? Caller: I don't know, but it's a choice. Host: Well, then when did you choose to be a heterosexual? Caller: well, uh I don't know. I didn't, that's just how I've always been. As you can see, the caller could not give a time of when he chose to be heterosexual. Honestly, I can't say when I "chose" to be heterosexual either. Which makes my argument about homosexuality being a choice that much harder to defend.

If you missed this commercial, you'll have to catch it online, because Snickers decided to pull the commercial because it is considered homophobic. Give me a break, this commercial is hilarious. Two straight guys would act exactly this way if they accidentally kissed. This is not homophobic, but the backlash is heterophobic. The part of the gay community that is crying out needs to get a grip. What if we were to have a gay man and woman kiss and have a similar reaction. Would that be okay? Find something better to bitch about and let me keep watching my funny commercials damnit.

I realize that these celebrities help a lot of charities, but making millions of dollars a year gives you a lot more expendable income than the average person. Most of the time, the money they have raised for charities isn't even out of their own pocket. It is money that has been donated by much more selfless people than these celebrities.

For example, Oprah does some amazing things to help people both on and off her show. Most of the stuff she gives away on her show is provided by her sponsors. She does plenty with her own money, but she could do so much more if she didn't own multiple multi-million dollar homes. Why not have one or two million dollar homes, or 10 moderately priced homes. $500,000 could buy a much nicer home than most people have. The extra money could be used to house several families (especially Katrina victims who Oprah so adamantly campaigns for).

I don't mean to personally attack Oprah, she is just one of many celebrities guilty of this crime. Celebrities need to come back to reality and see that most people can't afford to donate to charity while they could do so much more for people if they weren't so damn selfish.

But who cares about some kids getting molested; I mean stopping that will not increase box office, DVD, or album sales. Let's face it, if there were a way to make money tracking down pedophiles, then there would be a lot fewer of them. But the MPAA and RIAA would rather blame decreased revenue on pirating rather than face the fact that most of the movies and music produced today straight up suck. Focus on the real issues and stop harrassing everyone.

I'm not going to say people shouldn't do theses things, it's your body do what you want with it. But I will question their logic. I've heard of scenarios where guys want a sex change so that they can become a woman, but the still like women. The usual argument is that "I'm a woman trapped in a man's body", but in this case it's a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Does that not sound screwed up to anyone else? Seriously what the fuck is wrong with people today?!?

Creating this war on drugs only creates more of a desire for them. The harder it is to get the drug, the higher the price is for that drug. This means that when a drug dealer is busted, the remaining drug dealers make more money per unit sold. This just makes it easier for these criminals to get richer. In the months post Sep-Elev, there were many anti-drug adds on TV talking about how by using illegal drugs, you could be financing terrorism. This is true, many terrorists are financed by selling illegal drugs. But, if these drugs were legal in the first place, there would be no way for terrorists to make money off of them. So it is the government's fault for this in the first place. There is no way to completely eradicate drugs. There's too much money to be made, and it is a great opportunity for people that have little to no future ahead of them.

Legalizing drugs would also make it less likely for someone to die from an overdose or a bad dose. With a pharmaceutical or leisure market for them would create a safer product. Drugs would no longer be made in bathtubs, dingy basements, or garages, but rather in chemical laboratories and grown on farms where people with the proper knowledge can produce the product. This would make it much safer for the people that use it. I see no reason as to why people can't intoxicate themselves if they want, it's their body. If we can get drunk, why can't we get high, or use any other drug we please. Of course their should be age restrictions just as their are with alcohol, and you shouldn't be able to use them anywhere, just like you can't drink anywhere. There are designated places, like bars and clubs.

Many people's lives have been ruined by drugs. Sure many have been ruined by overuse, but many people are able to use drugs in moderation for leisure. Many of these people end up paying huge fines and doing jail time for their drug use. Our tax dollars end up paying for their court time and the duration of their incarceration. Drug use aside, many of these people are model citizens, never committing a violent crime or any sort of crime against another human being. Again, if it is their body, why not let them do what they want to it. All too often government oversteps its bounds and creates laws to protect people from themselves. The seatbelt law is another great example. Granted jail time won't result from disobeying this law, but it could cost you $100. Hell, I know that wearing a seatbelt could save my life, but shouldn't it be my choice as to what risks I am willing to take. Just creating a law stating that all vehicles must be equipped with seat belts would make more sense. That at least leaves people to make their own decisions, but government wants to run everyone's lives. I can completely understand why the underage seatbelt law is in place. I child generally doesn't know what is for him/herself. Next, everyone will be required to wear a helmet when riding a bike (Sorry about the tangent, back to our main topic).

There will always be a demand for drugs, and this war will never end. During the years of prohibition, gangsters like Al Capone got rich quick by bootlegging illegal alcohol. It is the same today, gangsters get rich quick by selling drugs. As soon as alcohol was again made legal, Capone had that much less income coming in.

Most of the underage kids that I know now and knew when I was underage myself could get illegal drugs easier than they could get alcohol, which is legal to anyone over the age of 21. Right now, a drug dealer could care less as to whether he/she is selling drugs to a minor, a middle age person, a senior citizen. A drug dealer will get busted all the same. Stores selling alcohol pay close attention to whom they are selling their product, being very careful not to sell to a minor. Otherwise they can be severely fined. Making drugs legal would actually keep further out of the reach of kids. Kids would definitely still use them, they will always find a way to get what they can't have. Plenty of kids today use prescription drugs illegally though, so how does making something illegal make it any harder to get. Drugs are something that will never go away, making them illegal only creates a greater demand for them.

No one fucking goes to McDonald's or Burger King to fortify their healthy diet. They go there to get alot of food for very little money. I can't get full off a six inch sub from Subway, but for the same price I could get the Triple Whopper from Burger King and be more than satisfied. Last time I got a footlong meatball sub combo from subway, it cost me more than $7.00, which is much more than you will pay at McDonald's or Burger King for a meal.

I don't really like Burger King or McDonald's that much anymore, but at least they don't try to claim that their food is so healthy and good for you. You don't see Subway comparing the nutritional value of their food to that of Panera, Crispers, Nature's Table, or other sub joints because they know these other places would blow them out of the water and provide the customer with a more filling meal. I say fuck Jerrod, I hope he has a heart attack from all that Subway.

On a quick tangent, Bud Light really sucks and no one really likes it. I'm sick of going to parties for shitty free beer. I expect more than piss-water. Everyone always gets a keg of Bud Light, but everyone I talk to hates it. It all started in high school, one "cool" kid liked it, so everyone followed, but deep down everyone knew it tastes like piss-water. So next party you have, do everyone a favor and get regular Bud. Thank you.

Follow-up:

I have received some feedback pertaining to other fruits "allegedly" named after colors. First, there is the case of the peach. The fruit is clearly not the same color as the crayon. Second, there is the plum. While the fruit and the crayon bare the same color, the color was clearly named after the fruit.

caller: "Hey, uh. . .John?"

me: "No, I think you have the wrong number. "

caller: "Uh, is John there?"

me: "Nope, no John here. "

caller: "There's no John there?"

me: "No, I think you have the wrong number. "

caller: "Well then uh I must have the wrong number. "

me: "Yup, bye. " *click*

I mean seriously, it shouldn' take a conversation that long to realize you have the wrong number. Then, there is the very rare case when they call, I don't pick up and they leave a message. Now I really can't comprehend this one because my message for my voice mail says: "You've reached Seth's cell phone I'm not here right now, leave a message. Bye. " Then they proceed to leave a message for John or whoever. Whatever happened to survival of the fittest. Stupidity at this degree should have left these people for dead a long time ago.